Win a Family Portrait Holiday Card by.... me.
Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 10:51AM 
Last year a good friend of mine asked me if I would donate a custom holiday card design to her daughter's school auction. She is on my christmas card list and thought that my goofy illustrations of my family (my 2009 card is above, but in this case my illustrations would be of somebody elses family, of course) might appeal to some of her fellow moms. This is a strange thing about New York City private schools: they charge a bazillion dollars in tuition and then ask their parents to step in and raise money for all the silly little extras like text books and chairs.
Any-whooz, I couldn't do it last year because I was swamped, and promised to do it THIS year, and then promptly forgot. My friend is too classy a person to apply any pressure directly, so I continued to forget, until last week. In a move that was absolutely brilliant, she had her little girl, A. email me. I am pretty sure that A. finally got that long requested personal email account solely for this purpose. If you've never gotten an email from an eight year old who you have somehow disappointed I would strongly suggest doing whatever it takes to avoid it. Its pretty awful. I won't print the whole thing here because A) it was meant to be private and B) it's far too humiliating, but I will share with you a particularly poignant excerpt:
"...so its okay that you didn't put anything in the auction because nobody in my class knows about you anyway so it probably wouldn't win very much money so don't feel bad that you forgot..."
Excuse me while I remove the small knife from my stomach, please.
So now I am in major make-up mode. Not only am I offering a "custom family portrait holiday card design", but I'm auctioning it on Ebay. This is necessary because A) Its too late to put it in the auction, and B) as A. pointed out, nobody at tending the auction except her knows who the $%#! I am anyway. You can find the whole listing here. I'll work with the winning bidder to illustrate and design a holiday card with their family portrait, including pets, under the bed monsters, nosy neighbors and imaginary friends. Package includes 100 printed cards plus one signed original suitable for framing. If you aren't the holiday card type but would love a little family portrait we can figure something else out, I'm sure.
update: A. would like my readers to know that she is, in fact, 9.25 years of age.
Reader Comments (15)
Elegant recovery! Best wishes with your fund raiser for some lucky family.
oh man! now that's a story. 9 year olds sure know how to let it fly, our neighbor girl is the same way. :) I'm sure the funds you raise will more than make up for being forgetful (and probably utterly swamped).
Ouch, nothing is worse than a dressing down from the under 10 set. If it makes you feel any better, my 5 year old knows who you are. She calls you the fairy tale fabric lady.
Good grief, that is high-larious. Love it.
,,,,,she's a writer...for sure!
Too funny Heather!!
Oh to be 9.25 years old again ;-)
Love it! And you are definitely making up for it! And trust me, even my husband knows who you are...and that's saying something. ;)
That was the FUNNIEST post I have ever read on a sewing/crafting blog! Laughed out LOUD. Holiday cards would be great - and it would be SO cool to print the family portrait on fabric and make a dress for my little girl with it! Maybe a little weird, but cool!
If there ever was something I wanted to bid on Ebay, it is this! What an unforgettable Christmas card it is going to be. :)
School fundraisers always make me crazy! I love that you are going above the whole institution and just having an auction on Ebay. You are so smart. Good Luck! I hope your card raises a small fortune.
Disappointing a kid may be the worst feeling ever. With three that keep me busy and one on the way I've felt that guilt many of times. But don't worry because the best part about children is how quickly they forgive us adults. I feel so lucky to have such crazy, busy, cute, etc kids.
that is absolutely hilarious. i hope a. writes you just as great of a thank you note after your card sells for a ton on ebay!
Oh wow! What a super awesome item!!!!
Wow! nothing like a kid making you feeling guilty for something big or small. But just wait till your precious little one does that to you! LOL
Good Luck :)
I'm going to check out ebay and try to bid
Best regards
Marta
Oh, that is hilarious! Although I'm now dreading my little angels reaching the age of 9.25 years...I'm guessing that's a tough age to live with.